It’s A Whole Different Ball Game Altogether!!!!!!

I still remember how I used to go giddy at the thought of having my own child. A stroll by the park would make me sigh with unfulfilled maternal instincts as I watched children playing. I have always adored kids and believed in my heart that I would bring up my kid to be dutiful and respecting and lovable right down to his or her little toes. But that all was before Anika came into my world.

Something about counting your chickens before they are hatched..........

When I was carrying Anika, I went through the same frenzied rush to read up every book, manual, or magazine offering parenting advice, pretty much like the rest of my breed. At that time I lapped up every word and every sentence thinking it to be the Gospel truth. All the while marvelling at the logic and simple reasoning presented to me.

I was all ready to incorporate the mantra of “don’t shout at your child often, and don’t be rude to them etc etc”. Two years down the line and now I can only scorn at all those “self-proclaimed gurus” offering parenting advice.

This is what my little angel puts me through -

1    The sofa is her personal playground and she gives me a heart attack every time she boldly jumps from one sofa to another...all the time giving me a proud look to say “look at me jumping mama!” Sure mama is happy is too you jumping baby, she is just   petrified that you might hurt your little body somewhere...but of course that I keep to myself.

2     Anytime I am not looking, Anika tries her best to carry our big flat screen TV. Why is a question I have given up finding an answer to.

3     She loves crawling under the dining table and between the chairs and then simply loses her way...then comes the high pitched “mommy” and I rush from my kitchen for the 100th time with my heart in my mouth. Do I shout at her? No way! I am just happy and relieved to see her safe and sound.

4    Climbs on the window panes and spits out food simply because she is bored and it’s fun to see mommy running about trying to clean up her mess.

5    The shoe rack is her favorite place to rummage around. And when is bored of trying out each and every single pair of shoe there, she attacks my vanity kit or throws my dupattas around.

6    Anytime she manages to get the door open, it is ”Mama, Bye I am going to Bombay!” Mommy of course is left wondering what she’s going to do the day her little girl actually says those lines and leaves to explore the world on her own.

7    Toys are the biggest source of joy to kids..they love them of course..Mine takes it one step further and dismantles or rips apart her toys and then smiles up at me with all the wonder of a two year old who has won over the world.

8    Anytime the car keys or house keys are lying around, Anika takes them and promptly puts them into the fridge or throws them under the sofa..how she manages to throw them at spots that are the most difficult to reach is still something that Ashwin and I can’t figure out.

So don’t shout at your kids and don’t beat them and don’t do this and don’t do that...well sometimes, just sometimes I would love to ask one of those parenting experts if they really have had kids of their own!